Gods: Lands of Infinity (PC)

GameSpot editors' review

• CNET editors' rating: 2.0 stars Mediocre
  Detailed editors' rating
  Overall score: 4.0 (2.0 stars)

• Reviewed by:
  Brett Todd
• Reviewed on: 07/31/2007
• Released on: 07/17/2007
• Originally published on GameSpot: Gods: Lands of Infinity (PC) Review

Role-playing games don't come much cheaper or generic than Gods: Lands of Infinity. This by-the-numbers RPG isn't so much awful as it is afflicted by a total lack of innovation by the developers at Cypron Studios and bargain basement production values. With that said, this is still a relatively competent take on the genre that you might enjoy, depending on your tolerance for tedium, as well as some of the goofiest voice acting and dialogue ever committed to an RPG.

As is the case with a lot of these generic fantasy types, the story is sufficiently ridiculous. It may actually be a little dumber than most. The plot relies on the antiquated hero-with-amnesia gimmick. Every character and place has also been stricken with absurd names like Svatopluck or Woda Gdely. You play Vivien, a magical hero created by a fire god named Arsvaargh. Her goal is to end a war of the gods on the world of Bellarion and find the mysterious artifact needed to defeat the god of darkness, Xarax (not to be confused with his older brother Xanax, the god of "please don't take these with alcohol"). To accomplish this mighty task, Vivien is sent to another world on a quest to contact the different gods there. Of course, she manages to lose all of her Arsvaargh-granted special abilities en route to this new land. So you're the typical neophyte adventurer, gaining experience points, leveling up, and choosing a career path from fighter, mage, or alchemist options. The only thing that stands out in this insipid saga is Kyla Cole, the 2000 Penthouse pet of the year, as she supplies the face and voice of Vivien. It's not every day you get a former nude model starring in an RPG--reasonably clothed, at that.

Despite the goal of averting an apocalypse, your mission doesn't involve a lot of earth-shaking assignments. Almost every job that Vivien accepts has been scarfed from the big book of clichéd RPG quests. She escorts merchants, kills monsters for gold, fetches random junk for unfortunate travelers, and so on. The only somewhat interesting aspect of world construction here is the free market that runs through the different towns. Constant hints are given about merchants who are selling low and about others who are buying high. So if you want to put the time into playing as trader, you can make a fair bit of gold running pottery to beekeepers or buying fish from one merchant on the cheap and hiking across the way to another paying big bucks; that sort of thing.

Needless to say, medieval mercantilism isn't exactly thrilling. You have to spend a lot of time wandering from one town to the next scrounging up deals, and every single map seems to have been designed so that it takes a minute or more to get from the entrance to the guy with the goodies. Unfortunately, trading is flat-out necessary because of the paltry amount of cash on offer in quests, as well as the high price of such vital goodies as armor and weapons (800 GP for a warhammer?). You've got to run a lot of escort missions (which regenerate every few days) and flog a lot of crap to afford much of anything. This even includes a paltry piece of mail to replace the leather halter and miniskirt you wear at the start of the game.

Other aspects of the game can be just as tedious as the traveling salesman stuff. You have to scarf down meals when out in the wild. Swigging from your water bottle and chowing down on fruit or meat is a necessity every day because hunger or thirst prevents you from resting to regain hit points. You're a weak sister when it comes to carrying capacity too, which makes it tough to haul the crazy amount of food and water you need when on a quest. The game also automatically picks up every item dropped by enemies at the end of each combat, even if doing so makes you so encumbered that you can no longer move.

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