Cartoon Network Racing review (PlayStation 2)

None of this is particularly original, so you'd be forgiven for thinking that the gameplay might at least be decent since it uses such an established formula. Unfortunately, it's a mess. Your kart handles like just about anything you can think of other than a kart. There's no sense of speed and everything feels floaty, as if you're not really touching the ground. The kart physics are poor, and you'll frequently spin out or come to a screeching halt when you so much as graze a hazard or bump a wall. Sometimes you don't even hit anything but come to a stop due to some invisible field. It's easy to get stuck on other karts, in walls, and behind objects on the course, too. Turning around is a real chore, which makes these problems even more irritating.

But the biggest problem is the elastic artificial intelligence, which allows less-skilled players to remain competitive but is so poorly implemented that it will ruin the game for everyone. It's quite possible to start a race, put the controller down and then literally go fix yourself a drink, grab a snack, have a brief conversation, and be back in the lead well before the end of the race. This might seem like a good thing for kids, but the CPU controlled racers have the same luxury, so no matter how many times you shoot someone or how many shortcuts you take, the races always come down to the last few seconds. And since the first two and a half laps are essentially worthless, the game gets old very, very quickly.

Even kids won't find much to enjoy when it comes to Cartoon Network Racing's visuals. The karts look basic and don't feature a whole lot of detail. Neither do many of the tracks they'll be racing on. There's nothing wrong with the basic overall design of any of the courses, but there's hardly any detail to them, and what the developer is trying to pass off as "cartoon-style" visuals by using bright colors and then slapping black lines around poorly textured objects just doesn't cut it. There are a few tracks that don't look too bad, though. The busy scene of a pirate ship and a flashy, though wholly unoriginal pinball level are a few of the standouts. What little effects there are are pathetic. If all of this skimping on the visuals paid off with a speedy frame rate that would be one thing, but of course, it doesn't. At its best the frame rate isn't very smooth, and even then it doesn't convey any sense of speed. At its worst the game is almost unplayable and things move as if they're in slow motion. The sound effects aren't great, either. You'll hear a few catchphrases here and there, but most everything is drowned out by the horrible-sounding karts. The cartoon themes that were so catchy on the DS are considerably less so here, because many of the songs have lyrics being sung along with them. Believe it or not, there's a limit to how often you can hear the line "You don't need pants for the victory dance..." from I.M. Weasel's theme song.

In the end, Cartoon Network Racing is a bad racing game that won't appeal to anyone of any age. Younger children who are into any of the kid-friendly shows on Cartoon Network may think it's neat to see their favorite characters in action for a few races, but their enthusiasm will quickly dwindle. Anyone with more discerning racing tastes will want to stay far, far away from this licensed drivel.